Toxic Friendship Essay

She wasn’t your typical bully, but then again, I wasn’t your typical victim.

Throughout middle school, we were inseparable. We sat together in class, attended parties, and shared secrets - just like any best friends would. But that all changed one September day. I decided to sit with some other kids at lunch, and it turned out that was a mistake. She scolded me for it, questioning my loyalty and the people I called friends. In that moment, I realized something I had been blind to for years—she had been gossiping about me with another girl. This was the moment I saw how unhealthy our friendship had become. Her possessiveness was clear, and I realized that for two years, I had been controlled by her without even noticing it.

Her bullying wasn’t loud or obvious. It was subtle, almost seamless, blending into the normalcy of our friendship. That’s what made it so dangerous - it wasn’t easy to detect. Bullying doesn’t always mean physical fights or making fun of someone’s appearance. Sometimes it’s more subtle, like being told (not asked) where to stand or being criticized for sitting at a different lunch table. These small actions might seem harmless, but they add up, and eventually, they shape your world. When you find yourself doing things not because you want to, but because someone has made you feel like you should, that’s when you know something’s wrong.

She made me feel small, and it worked. I started to feel depressed, my self-esteem plummeted, and I found myself spending more time alone, often skipping school. I cried almost every day. I focused on my studies to escape the loneliness, and in the process, I became so unsure of myself. I was lost, unsure of who I really was without her negativity hanging over me. I knew I had to rebuild myself, to find my worth without her influence. That’s when I came up with a motto that helped me find my way:

“Define yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself.”

I knew I needed to become someone I could love again, and with time, I did.

I finally stood up to her.

At first, I thought I was free. But it turns out I was wrong. Now, as sophomores, we still have some classes together. While we’re not friends, she still tries to make her presence known. She interrupts my conversations with friends, trying to undermine everything I say, always trying to outdo me. But it’s different now. Her words don’t affect me the way they used to. They no longer have the power they did back in eighth grade.

I realized I deserve more than to live in her shadow. I’m stronger now for standing up for myself, and I’ve grown a lot through this experience. I’ve discovered who my real friends are, and I’ve learned to appreciate the simple beauty of being myself. I love who I am, and I no longer feel the need to prove myself to anyone. I’m done playing her game.

Source: friendshipessay.com